Obviously appropriate...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwq7BYOnDrM
Shoutout to everyone who came out to ref even though they didn't have games this week.
Game Recaps:
Quarterfinals:
ME 28
WWR 6
Breakfast is for Closers 34
2 Girls, 1 Ball 13
The Pac 35
The Fighting Pacifists 33
Hung Jurists 48
Rahman's Noodles 12
Semifinals:
ME 49
Hung Jurists 26
Breakfast is for Closers 68
The Pac 34
Championship Games - Friday, November 21, 2008 - IM Fields
Predicted Forecast - cold as sh*t with a chance of snow.
Womens' Championship - 6PM EST
Ballhandlers v. Naked Authority
Another chapter in this heated rivarly. Second only to UVA-UNC for the South's Oldest Rivalry in football, this game will undoubtedly be filled with the passion and emotion that can only come from three years of squaring off in the law school flag football championship. Naked Authority will be looking to avenge its loss to the Ballhandlers earlier in the season.
Mens'/Co-Ed Championship - 7ish PM EST
ME v. Breakfast is for Closers
This game has more back stories than a season of Desperate Housewives. Travis Campbell, Spencer Bolander, and Brian "BR" Mills, all members of Breakfast is for Closers, teamed with the members of ME to capture the undergrad intramural flag football championship less than 3 weeks ago. Also, before the season began, ME's team management looked into going co-ed with current female members of BFC. However, this fell through. Then by some bizarre coincidence, BR Mills defected to BFC despite winning a championship with ME last fall. League officials are currenlty looking into whether BFC violated league policy by contacting a player still under contract with another team. With these juicy plot lines, this is sure to be an exciting championship game.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Additional Shoutout
Additional shoutout to the Student Bar Association (aka SBA), for helping out the flag football league. And to the SBA president, for not taking away my mass-emailing privileges. Check out the SBA website at http://richmondlawsba.wordpress.com/
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Shoutouts
In lieu of recapping old games before the playoffs, I've decided to give Shoutouts instead.
Shoutout to ME, for being the only team to go undefeated.
Shoutout to Hung Jurists, for winning 5 games in a row after starting out 1-2. Look out for them in the playoffs.
Shoutout to Kristen Booros, for the juicy love note you left me on the bottom of the score sheet...although you may be the worse score keeper in history. Booros was the only person all season long to keep both teams' scores in one column instead of using the very distinct columns provided on the score sheet. It's ok, I forgive you.
Shoutout to Ryan Shannon, QB of The Pac, for giving us a glimpse of Dan Marino in his younger, yet still immobile, days. Did you know Dan Marino had 87 career rushing yards in 17 NFL seasons? Amazing...
Shoutout to Matt "Sugar" Dahl, for all that he did this season. Sugar became so adept at setting up the fields that he could probably do it in his sleep. Actually he might have been asleep while setting up the fields on a few occasions. It was always fun to guess what the dimensions of the field would be each week. Sugar also has the longest active streak of not missing a league game.
Shoutout to Nick Christie, the league's #1 fan, for showing up on a weekly basis and even reffing one game. This is more than I can say for Corey "C-Mony" Pollard, who might have showed up twice and was seen cavorting around with His Giant instead of showing up to flag football.
Corey and His Giant
Shoutout to The Dude from WWR, for doing his best Anquan Boldin impersonation last week (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWDA67sdfPg&feature=related). Last week his head bounced off the ground like a basketball, but he fought through it and continued to play...although he was just running around in circles yelling "Look boss, de plane! de plane!" (I would just like to say that Andquan and The Dude were fine so it's ok to have a little laugh at their expense).
Shoutout to WWR, Ballhandlers, and The Pac (although they jumped on the bandwagon late), for continuing the tradition of team unis. Rahman's Noodles had a solid showing for 1 week but not enough to get a shoutout. I'm still looking to get picked up by Ballhandlers for next semester. I'll wear a wig and change my name to Juwanna Mann so we can play in the girls division.
Finally, Shoutout to my Co-Commish, for showing up just as many times as I did, if not less, and coming up with creative excuses for not showing up such as "I didn't feel like it" or "I was pretty tired." Thanks, you're the best!!
For all those who didn't receive Shoutouts but were expecting them, I do not apologize.
Guest Shoutouts:
From Gene Pierson...Shoutout to all the cute 1L girls. Holler at me...
From Bryant Thomas...Shoutout to all the cute 3L bitties. Holla at me...
From Sarah Minner...Shoutout to Matt Dahl. I definitely know why they call you Sugar!
Shoutout to ME, for being the only team to go undefeated.
Shoutout to Hung Jurists, for winning 5 games in a row after starting out 1-2. Look out for them in the playoffs.
Shoutout to Kristen Booros, for the juicy love note you left me on the bottom of the score sheet...although you may be the worse score keeper in history. Booros was the only person all season long to keep both teams' scores in one column instead of using the very distinct columns provided on the score sheet. It's ok, I forgive you.
Shoutout to Ryan Shannon, QB of The Pac, for giving us a glimpse of Dan Marino in his younger, yet still immobile, days. Did you know Dan Marino had 87 career rushing yards in 17 NFL seasons? Amazing...
Shoutout to Matt "Sugar" Dahl, for all that he did this season. Sugar became so adept at setting up the fields that he could probably do it in his sleep. Actually he might have been asleep while setting up the fields on a few occasions. It was always fun to guess what the dimensions of the field would be each week. Sugar also has the longest active streak of not missing a league game.
Shoutout to Nick Christie, the league's #1 fan, for showing up on a weekly basis and even reffing one game. This is more than I can say for Corey "C-Mony" Pollard, who might have showed up twice and was seen cavorting around with His Giant instead of showing up to flag football.
Corey and His Giant
Shoutout to The Dude from WWR, for doing his best Anquan Boldin impersonation last week (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWDA67sdfPg&feature=related). Last week his head bounced off the ground like a basketball, but he fought through it and continued to play...although he was just running around in circles yelling "Look boss, de plane! de plane!" (I would just like to say that Andquan and The Dude were fine so it's ok to have a little laugh at their expense).
Shoutout to WWR, Ballhandlers, and The Pac (although they jumped on the bandwagon late), for continuing the tradition of team unis. Rahman's Noodles had a solid showing for 1 week but not enough to get a shoutout. I'm still looking to get picked up by Ballhandlers for next semester. I'll wear a wig and change my name to Juwanna Mann so we can play in the girls division.
Finally, Shoutout to my Co-Commish, for showing up just as many times as I did, if not less, and coming up with creative excuses for not showing up such as "I didn't feel like it" or "I was pretty tired." Thanks, you're the best!!
For all those who didn't receive Shoutouts but were expecting them, I do not apologize.
Guest Shoutouts:
From Gene Pierson...Shoutout to all the cute 1L girls. Holler at me...
From Bryant Thomas...Shoutout to all the cute 3L bitties. Holla at me...
From Sarah Minner...Shoutout to Matt Dahl. I definitely know why they call you Sugar!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Week 8: Not Really Rivalry Week
Game Recaps:
Rahman's Noodles 39
ME 51
Hung Jurists 40
Fighting Pacifists 38
Ballhandlers 26
Naked Authority 13
Breakfast is for Closers 25
Prosecution 13
Straight Cash Homeys 13
2 Girls, 1 Ball 58
The Pac 53
WWR 19
Final Standings:
ME (8-0)
Breakfast is for Closers (7-1)
The Pac (6-2)
Hung Jurists (6-2)
Rahman's Noodles (5-3)
The Fighting Pacifists (4-4)
2 Girls, 1 Ball (4-4)
Naked Authority (2-5)
WWR (1-6)
The Prosecution (1-6)
Ball Handlers (1-5)
Straight Cash Homeys (0-8)
Playoffs:
Nov. 16 -- Quaterfinals -- 11AM EST
Game 1: ME v. WWR
Game 2: Breakfast is for Closers v. 2 Girls, 1 Ball
Game 3: The Pac v. The Fighting Pacifists
Game 4: Hung Jurists v. Rahman's Noodles
Semifinals -- 12AM EST
Winner Game 1 v. Winner Game 4
Winner Game 2 v. Winner Game 3
NOTE: Losing teams will need to provide refs for the semifinal games.
Championship games will be held November 21, 2008 at 6pm under the lights at the IM Field. The Women's Championship will be played first followed by the Mens'/Co-ed Championship. The final Down Under ("DU") of the year will be held in conjunction with the championship games. Free booze and apps!!
Women's Championship
Naked Authority v. Ballhanlders
Mens'/Co-ed Championship
TBD
Rahman's Noodles 39
ME 51
Hung Jurists 40
Fighting Pacifists 38
Ballhandlers 26
Naked Authority 13
Breakfast is for Closers 25
Prosecution 13
Straight Cash Homeys 13
2 Girls, 1 Ball 58
The Pac 53
WWR 19
Final Standings:
ME (8-0)
Breakfast is for Closers (7-1)
The Pac (6-2)
Hung Jurists (6-2)
Rahman's Noodles (5-3)
The Fighting Pacifists (4-4)
2 Girls, 1 Ball (4-4)
Naked Authority (2-5)
WWR (1-6)
The Prosecution (1-6)
Ball Handlers (1-5)
Straight Cash Homeys (0-8)
Playoffs:
Nov. 16 -- Quaterfinals -- 11AM EST
Game 1: ME v. WWR
Game 2: Breakfast is for Closers v. 2 Girls, 1 Ball
Game 3: The Pac v. The Fighting Pacifists
Game 4: Hung Jurists v. Rahman's Noodles
Semifinals -- 12AM EST
Winner Game 1 v. Winner Game 4
Winner Game 2 v. Winner Game 3
NOTE: Losing teams will need to provide refs for the semifinal games.
Championship games will be held November 21, 2008 at 6pm under the lights at the IM Field. The Women's Championship will be played first followed by the Mens'/Co-ed Championship. The final Down Under ("DU") of the year will be held in conjunction with the championship games. Free booze and apps!!
Women's Championship
Naked Authority v. Ballhanlders
Mens'/Co-ed Championship
TBD
Week 7: Post Halloween Party
Game Recaps:
2 Girls, 1 Ball 40
Fighting Pacifists 54
Hung Jurists 36
Naked Authority 28
Rahman's Noodles 86
Straight Cash Homeys 40
ME 34
Breakfast is for Closers 24
After losing the game, it was reported that Spencer Bolander lost his composure and went on a rampage. Some brave soul managed to capture a picture of him.
The Pac 45
Ballhandlers 12
WWR
Prosecution (DID NOT SHOW)
2 Girls, 1 Ball 40
Fighting Pacifists 54
Hung Jurists 36
Naked Authority 28
Rahman's Noodles 86
Straight Cash Homeys 40
ME 34
Breakfast is for Closers 24
After losing the game, it was reported that Spencer Bolander lost his composure and went on a rampage. Some brave soul managed to capture a picture of him.
The Pac 45
Ballhandlers 12
WWR
Prosecution (DID NOT SHOW)
Monday, November 3, 2008
Week 6:
Game Recaps:
Breakfast is for Closers 51
Fighting Pacifists 44
Rahman's Noodles 30
Hung Jurists 58
Naked Authority 49
Straight Cash Homeys 34
ME 46
WWR 0
The Pac 41
2 Girls, 1 Ball 13
Hung Jurists 38
Fighting Pacifists 22
Breakfast is for Closers 51
Fighting Pacifists 44
Rahman's Noodles 30
Hung Jurists 58
Naked Authority 49
Straight Cash Homeys 34
ME 46
WWR 0
The Pac 41
2 Girls, 1 Ball 13
Hung Jurists 38
Fighting Pacifists 22
Monday, October 27, 2008
Week 5: A Couple of Nail Biters
Game Recaps:
Rahman's Noodles 50
Ball Handlers 49
This was a great game highlitghted by two of the best female QBs in the league. Kat Amirpashaie and Jeannine Panzera each contributed 4 TDs , but Kat and Rahman's Noodles were able to get one more extra point to secure the victory. On another note, I would just like to commend the referees of this game for doing such a great job and calling a completely fair game. One of the referees (who shall remain nameless) showed up early like he does every week, set up the fields, and got everyone organized to ensure games started on time...all while hungover. Well done good sir.
Straight Cash Homeys 8
Hung Jurists 50
Hung Jurists overwhelmed Straight Cash Homeys on offense and defense. Wyatt Taylor and Dave Esposito returned interceptions for touchdowns. Wyatt Taylor also threw 6 TD passes. A special thanks to whichever ref decided to keep score using roman numerals. I had so much fun counting the notches on the score sheet. Adding up the points on the score sheet is already problematic since I haven't done simple math in 15 years, but you managed to take it to a whole new level. THANKS!!
The Fighting Pacifists 48
The Prosecution 21
A battle between 1L guys teams. In the end the favored Fighting Pacifists pulled off the victory lead by Richard Haywood who ran for one TD and threw 4 more...a solid game despite his affiliation to the UNC Tarheels. Nate Sizemore also scored a touchdown off an interception for the Fighting Pacifists.
Naked Authority 26
2 Girls, 1 Ball 46
2 Girls, 1 Ball got solid contributions from a few team members. John McClaurin threw and ran for TDs. Dave Rivard caught a TD and returned an interception for a TD. Liz "Soul Eater" Boudris also threw for a TD. I'm not sure where she got the nickname from, but I don't want to be the one to find out. Kristen Booros had a complete game in a losing effort for Naked Authority. Booros ran for a TD, threw a TD, and returned an interception for a TD.
The Pac 39
ME 41
This was a hotly contested game. In the end the wily veteran's prevailed over their inexperienced counterparts. The highlight of the game had to be ME's two-point conversion in the first half that was retried 3-4 times for various penalties including a false start, 2 illegal rushes, and maybe a pass interference. Who knew that this conversion would prove to be the winning points for ME. Orlanda (formerly known as Alex) Woodson may or may not still be gloating about the touchdown pass he cought despite losing the game...proving he might actually be more like Randy Moss than first conceived.
Breakfast is for Closers 34
WWR 32
The third close game of the week, this battle of co-ed squads came down to the final minutes of the game. WWR lead at the end of the first half thanks to touchdowns by captain Katie Amaro and Matt Vaughan. Breakfast came back in the second half sparked by an interception returned for a touchdown by Brian Mills. BMills also caught two TD passes from Seth Scott, who threw 4 total. Breakfast completed a double points touchdown in the second half to a girl who isn't deserving of a shout out in the blog.
Other News:
The law school flag football team won the IM Flag Football Championship this week beating Sigma Chi 26-6. The team included Ryan Wind of Essex County, Spencer "I Like to Fight Frat Kids" Bolander, Dan Payne-Wallmeyer, Marshall Tucker, Corey "C-Mony" Pollard, Dave Van Acker, Matt "Sugar" Dahl, Brian "BR" Mills, Gene Pierson, Bryant "Just Gimme the Damn Ball" Thomas, and Travis Campbell, who channeled his inner-Urlacher in leading the team defense.
Congrats guys...
Rahman's Noodles 50
Ball Handlers 49
This was a great game highlitghted by two of the best female QBs in the league. Kat Amirpashaie and Jeannine Panzera each contributed 4 TDs , but Kat and Rahman's Noodles were able to get one more extra point to secure the victory. On another note, I would just like to commend the referees of this game for doing such a great job and calling a completely fair game. One of the referees (who shall remain nameless) showed up early like he does every week, set up the fields, and got everyone organized to ensure games started on time...all while hungover. Well done good sir.
Straight Cash Homeys 8
Hung Jurists 50
Hung Jurists overwhelmed Straight Cash Homeys on offense and defense. Wyatt Taylor and Dave Esposito returned interceptions for touchdowns. Wyatt Taylor also threw 6 TD passes. A special thanks to whichever ref decided to keep score using roman numerals. I had so much fun counting the notches on the score sheet. Adding up the points on the score sheet is already problematic since I haven't done simple math in 15 years, but you managed to take it to a whole new level. THANKS!!
The Fighting Pacifists 48
The Prosecution 21
A battle between 1L guys teams. In the end the favored Fighting Pacifists pulled off the victory lead by Richard Haywood who ran for one TD and threw 4 more...a solid game despite his affiliation to the UNC Tarheels. Nate Sizemore also scored a touchdown off an interception for the Fighting Pacifists.
Naked Authority 26
2 Girls, 1 Ball 46
2 Girls, 1 Ball got solid contributions from a few team members. John McClaurin threw and ran for TDs. Dave Rivard caught a TD and returned an interception for a TD. Liz "Soul Eater" Boudris also threw for a TD. I'm not sure where she got the nickname from, but I don't want to be the one to find out. Kristen Booros had a complete game in a losing effort for Naked Authority. Booros ran for a TD, threw a TD, and returned an interception for a TD.
The Pac 39
ME 41
This was a hotly contested game. In the end the wily veteran's prevailed over their inexperienced counterparts. The highlight of the game had to be ME's two-point conversion in the first half that was retried 3-4 times for various penalties including a false start, 2 illegal rushes, and maybe a pass interference. Who knew that this conversion would prove to be the winning points for ME. Orlanda (formerly known as Alex) Woodson may or may not still be gloating about the touchdown pass he cought despite losing the game...proving he might actually be more like Randy Moss than first conceived.
Breakfast is for Closers 34
WWR 32
The third close game of the week, this battle of co-ed squads came down to the final minutes of the game. WWR lead at the end of the first half thanks to touchdowns by captain Katie Amaro and Matt Vaughan. Breakfast came back in the second half sparked by an interception returned for a touchdown by Brian Mills. BMills also caught two TD passes from Seth Scott, who threw 4 total. Breakfast completed a double points touchdown in the second half to a girl who isn't deserving of a shout out in the blog.
Other News:
The law school flag football team won the IM Flag Football Championship this week beating Sigma Chi 26-6. The team included Ryan Wind of Essex County, Spencer "I Like to Fight Frat Kids" Bolander, Dan Payne-Wallmeyer, Marshall Tucker, Corey "C-Mony" Pollard, Dave Van Acker, Matt "Sugar" Dahl, Brian "BR" Mills, Gene Pierson, Bryant "Just Gimme the Damn Ball" Thomas, and Travis Campbell, who channeled his inner-Urlacher in leading the team defense.
Congrats guys...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Team Names
The request for blogging has been overwhelming, so this week I'm back with my commentary on team names.
Rahman's Noodles
A shout out to our very own Dean Rahman and a clever play on words. If you don't understand, then you obviously did not have the same college experience that I did. Ramen is a japanese noodle dish that originated in China (god i love wikipedia). Nissin manufactures Top Ramen which i
s instant noodles that come in a little microwavable container. All you do is add water, zap it for 3 minutes, and you have a fine japanese cuisine. The thought of eating these things quite honestly makes me a littly queasy. I probably consumed a metric ton of instant noodles over the first two years of college between the hours of 2am and 4am. After doing what I did on a normal college night, my judgment wasobviously cloudy and it seemed like a good thing to eat these things before bed. Trust me, it's not a good idea. Don't ever try it. Even if it's a dare.
Naked Authority
The girls have been running strong with this name since 1L year. It's a solid team name. In a legal sense, naked authority is “one given without any right in the agent, and wholly for the benefit of the principal.” In a real world sense, naked authority probably involves some type of bondage, a midget, and a ZJ (if you gotta ask, you can afford one). That's just what I heard from a close source of mine. I wouldn't advise googling the term unless you're somewhere private with with a door that locks and no chance that someone will walk in on you.
Hung Jurists
Easily one of the best names in the league. And I'm going to stop there before this gets weird.
The Pac
I'm not sure where this team was going with their name. Is it a play on the "Rat Pack" from the 60s? I guess Orlando (formerly known as Alex) Woodson could resemble a young Sammy Davis Jr. if he were able to grow a moustache. I wouldn't disrespect Sinatra or Dean Martin by comparing them to anyone on the rest of the team. I've also heard them refer to themselves as "Pac Frat." Maybe they've started their own fraternity to compete with PAD. It'll be interesting to see whether they can pull some members from PAD. I've heard pledging for PAD is intensive.
Straight Cash Homeys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07G23zMGa4g
This explains it all.
The Fighting Pacifists
Pacifists don't fight. I don't get it. I'm so confused.
2 Girls, 1 Ball
This is the most interesting name in the league with its slight sexual overtone on one hand and regretful plight on the other. 2 Girls = every man's fantasy. 1 Ball = every man's nightmare. Maybe the team name just refers to the 2 girls on the field and the 1 football and not everyone in the world has a corrupt mind like myself. Either way...well played.
Ball Handlers
No confusion here. This is clearly a sexual reference from this clever and catty 3L girls team. It's really quite simple if you think about it. Girls handling balls. Except it's their team name for flag football. So they handle footballs, not real balls. Get it? Ok good. I'm considering joining this team next year so I can get a jersey. And possibly go the team sleepover on saturday nights in which the ladies bake cookies and have pillow fights...cause that's what girls do when they have sleepovers right? If it's not, just let me hold on to that thought.
Breakfast is for Closers
Now I've been slightly confused about this team name since I created the schedule. The confusion is based off the fact that Corey Pollard is the team captain and undoubtebly contributed to the team name. I expect more from Corey "C-Mony" Pollard, being the avid reader of The G Manifesto (http://www.thegmanifesto.com/) that is he. He should know that true Gs NEVER stay for breakfast.
The Prosecution
In my opinion, a pretty lackluster attempt at a legal flag football name. Here are a few equally mediocre team name options: The Plaintiff, The Defense, Adverse Possession, The Beneficiary. I expect more from you guys next semester as you will have had a whole semester of law school classes chalk full of legal terms that can be turned into witty flag football names. Until then...
WWR
Ok so I couldn't find the sheet with the full team name, so I'm not exactly sure what the acronym stands for or even if it is an acronym. If it is an acronym, maybe it means "Wrongful Waiver of Rights" or "What? Whoa! Res Gestae?" Maybe there's actually a missing D and the team name stands for "What Would Rahman Do?" After all Dean Rahman does have 1 team name in her honor...and a sweet profile pic.
ME
Ahh the commish's team. People have been getting the wrong impression about MY team's name. I did not name the team ME because I think i'm the whole team. First, I wouldn't have the pomposity to do such a thing (side note: I stole the word pomposity from Brian R. Mills, who is the only kid pompous enough to actually use the word. He would like everyone to know that he no longer wishes to be referred to as BMills. Instead he will only go by B.R...because it sounds more stately than BMills). Now, back to my team....Second, every single person is an integral part of our team. Considering we rarely have more than 4 people show up to the game, without any single person, we would have forfeited half our games. Also, since I'm commish it was much easier to just say ME when I dictated the schedule to my scribe. Well done on my part.
Rahman's Noodles
A shout out to our very own Dean Rahman and a clever play on words. If you don't understand, then you obviously did not have the same college experience that I did. Ramen is a japanese noodle dish that originated in China (god i love wikipedia). Nissin manufactures Top Ramen which i
s instant noodles that come in a little microwavable container. All you do is add water, zap it for 3 minutes, and you have a fine japanese cuisine. The thought of eating these things quite honestly makes me a littly queasy. I probably consumed a metric ton of instant noodles over the first two years of college between the hours of 2am and 4am. After doing what I did on a normal college night, my judgment wasobviously cloudy and it seemed like a good thing to eat these things before bed. Trust me, it's not a good idea. Don't ever try it. Even if it's a dare.Naked Authority
The girls have been running strong with this name since 1L year. It's a solid team name. In a legal sense, naked authority is “one given without any right in the agent, and wholly for the benefit of the principal.” In a real world sense, naked authority probably involves some type of bondage, a midget, and a ZJ (if you gotta ask, you can afford one). That's just what I heard from a close source of mine. I wouldn't advise googling the term unless you're somewhere private with with a door that locks and no chance that someone will walk in on you.
Hung Jurists
Easily one of the best names in the league. And I'm going to stop there before this gets weird.
The Pac
I'm not sure where this team was going with their name. Is it a play on the "Rat Pack" from the 60s? I guess Orlando (formerly known as Alex) Woodson could resemble a young Sammy Davis Jr. if he were able to grow a moustache. I wouldn't disrespect Sinatra or Dean Martin by comparing them to anyone on the rest of the team. I've also heard them refer to themselves as "Pac Frat." Maybe they've started their own fraternity to compete with PAD. It'll be interesting to see whether they can pull some members from PAD. I've heard pledging for PAD is intensive.
Straight Cash Homeys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07G23zMGa4g
This explains it all.
The Fighting Pacifists
Pacifists don't fight. I don't get it. I'm so confused.
2 Girls, 1 Ball
This is the most interesting name in the league with its slight sexual overtone on one hand and regretful plight on the other. 2 Girls = every man's fantasy. 1 Ball = every man's nightmare. Maybe the team name just refers to the 2 girls on the field and the 1 football and not everyone in the world has a corrupt mind like myself. Either way...well played.
Ball Handlers
No confusion here. This is clearly a sexual reference from this clever and catty 3L girls team. It's really quite simple if you think about it. Girls handling balls. Except it's their team name for flag football. So they handle footballs, not real balls. Get it? Ok good. I'm considering joining this team next year so I can get a jersey. And possibly go the team sleepover on saturday nights in which the ladies bake cookies and have pillow fights...cause that's what girls do when they have sleepovers right? If it's not, just let me hold on to that thought.
Breakfast is for Closers
Now I've been slightly confused about this team name since I created the schedule. The confusion is based off the fact that Corey Pollard is the team captain and undoubtebly contributed to the team name. I expect more from Corey "C-Mony" Pollard, being the avid reader of The G Manifesto (http://www.thegmanifesto.com/) that is he. He should know that true Gs NEVER stay for breakfast.
The Prosecution
In my opinion, a pretty lackluster attempt at a legal flag football name. Here are a few equally mediocre team name options: The Plaintiff, The Defense, Adverse Possession, The Beneficiary. I expect more from you guys next semester as you will have had a whole semester of law school classes chalk full of legal terms that can be turned into witty flag football names. Until then...
WWR
Ok so I couldn't find the sheet with the full team name, so I'm not exactly sure what the acronym stands for or even if it is an acronym. If it is an acronym, maybe it means "Wrongful Waiver of Rights" or "What? Whoa! Res Gestae?" Maybe there's actually a missing D and the team name stands for "What Would Rahman Do?" After all Dean Rahman does have 1 team name in her honor...and a sweet profile pic.
ME
Ahh the commish's team. People have been getting the wrong impression about MY team's name. I did not name the team ME because I think i'm the whole team. First, I wouldn't have the pomposity to do such a thing (side note: I stole the word pomposity from Brian R. Mills, who is the only kid pompous enough to actually use the word. He would like everyone to know that he no longer wishes to be referred to as BMills. Instead he will only go by B.R...because it sounds more stately than BMills). Now, back to my team....Second, every single person is an integral part of our team. Considering we rarely have more than 4 people show up to the game, without any single person, we would have forfeited half our games. Also, since I'm commish it was much easier to just say ME when I dictated the schedule to my scribe. Well done on my part.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Week 4: Midseason Report
Game Recaps:
Rahman's Noodles 32
Naked Authority 25
Hung Jurists 42
The Pac 56
Straight Cash Homeys 16
The Fighting Pacifists 55
Ball Handlers 12
Breakfast is for Closers 52
ME 49
The Prosecution 6
2 Girls, 1 Ball 48
WWR 0
Standings
Breakfast is for Closers (4-0)
ME (4-0)
Rahman's Noodles (3-1)
The Pac (3-1)
The Fighting Pacifists (2-1)
2 Girls, 1 Ball (2-2)
The Prosecution (1-3)
WWR (1-3)
Hung Jurists (1-2)
Naked Authority (1-2)
Ball Handlers (0-3)
Straight Cash Homeys (0-4)
League Leaders:
TD Passes
Ryan Shannon (The Pac) - 19
Matt "Sugar" Dahl (ME) - 14
Wyatt Taylor (Hung Jurists) - 10
Rahman's Noodles 32
Naked Authority 25
Hung Jurists 42
The Pac 56
Straight Cash Homeys 16
The Fighting Pacifists 55
Ball Handlers 12
Breakfast is for Closers 52
ME 49
The Prosecution 6
2 Girls, 1 Ball 48
WWR 0
Standings
Breakfast is for Closers (4-0)
ME (4-0)
Rahman's Noodles (3-1)
The Pac (3-1)
The Fighting Pacifists (2-1)
2 Girls, 1 Ball (2-2)
The Prosecution (1-3)
WWR (1-3)
Hung Jurists (1-2)
Naked Authority (1-2)
Ball Handlers (0-3)
Straight Cash Homeys (0-4)
League Leaders:
TD Passes
Ryan Shannon (The Pac) - 19
Matt "Sugar" Dahl (ME) - 14
Wyatt Taylor (Hung Jurists) - 10
Week 3:
Game Recaps:
Rahman's Noodles 39
2 Girls, 1 Ball 33
Rahman's Noodles beat 2 Girl 1 Ball. It was a close game with Rahman's Noodles only winning by 6 points. According to my co-commissioner Kat played like an all star (again) and she had no idea who on the other team did anything. Thanks for the contribution Jess.
ME 54
The Fighting Pacifists 15
After a two week holdout, Ryan E. Wind and his agent Drew Rosenhaus finally came to terms on a contract with team management. Wind did not show any signs of rust from the holdout throwing for 2 TDs and catching 2 more. ME jumped out to an early 35-0 lead and never looked back ending the game by the mercy rule early in the second half. Matt Dahl threw 5 TDs in replacement of incumbent starter Marshall Tucker and may be looking to take over the starting job. The Fighting Pacifists had one shining moment as they returned a two point conversion for a touchdown.
Hung Jurists 50
The Prosecution 43
The Pac 52
Straight Cash Homeys 6
Ball Handlers 74
WWR 77
Naked Authority 41
Breakfast is for Closers 55
Quote of the Week:
My fantasy value is way up after this week.
-Matt Dahl
Rahman's Noodles 39
2 Girls, 1 Ball 33
Rahman's Noodles beat 2 Girl 1 Ball. It was a close game with Rahman's Noodles only winning by 6 points. According to my co-commissioner Kat played like an all star (again) and she had no idea who on the other team did anything. Thanks for the contribution Jess.
ME 54
The Fighting Pacifists 15
After a two week holdout, Ryan E. Wind and his agent Drew Rosenhaus finally came to terms on a contract with team management. Wind did not show any signs of rust from the holdout throwing for 2 TDs and catching 2 more. ME jumped out to an early 35-0 lead and never looked back ending the game by the mercy rule early in the second half. Matt Dahl threw 5 TDs in replacement of incumbent starter Marshall Tucker and may be looking to take over the starting job. The Fighting Pacifists had one shining moment as they returned a two point conversion for a touchdown.
Hung Jurists 50
The Prosecution 43
The Pac 52
Straight Cash Homeys 6
Ball Handlers 74
WWR 77
Naked Authority 41
Breakfast is for Closers 55
Quote of the Week:
My fantasy value is way up after this week.
-Matt Dahl
Monday, September 29, 2008
Week 2:
Game Recaps:
Rahman's Noodles 39
Breakfast is for Closers 46
A matchup of two strong co-ed teams proved to be an exciting game. Rahman's Noodles showed up donning t-shirts mocking their opponents team name. Matt Hazard's shirt read "Your Mom Ate My Breakfast." Other shirts had similar slogans but for some reason referenced different venereal diseases. Despite a strong showing, Hazard was not able to overcome a solid performance by Breakfast's trio of girls...after all he is only one man.
The Fighting Pacifists 19
The Pac 12
Two things this game was not... 1. An offensive battle 2. Fun to Watch.
-Gene Pierson
ME 45
Hung Jurists 18
The tide of this game turned when Bryant Thomas showed up giving ME a sub. Marshall Tucker lead the way on offense for ME with 6 TDs (5 passing/1 receiving) while Gene Pierson held it down on defense with 4 interceptions, returning 2 for touchdowns. Special thanks to John O'Herron for his in game commentary which consisted of yelling "trickery" whenever Hung Jurists did anything besides a pass. According to the Score Sheet, Hung Jurists ran "Trickery to Brooks" three times but failed.
Ball Handlers 53
2 Girls, 1 Ball 54
The Prosecution 45
Straight Cash Homeys 0
WWR 26
Naked Authority 37
Rahman's Noodles 39
Breakfast is for Closers 46
A matchup of two strong co-ed teams proved to be an exciting game. Rahman's Noodles showed up donning t-shirts mocking their opponents team name. Matt Hazard's shirt read "Your Mom Ate My Breakfast." Other shirts had similar slogans but for some reason referenced different venereal diseases. Despite a strong showing, Hazard was not able to overcome a solid performance by Breakfast's trio of girls...after all he is only one man.
The Fighting Pacifists 19
The Pac 12
Two things this game was not... 1. An offensive battle 2. Fun to Watch.
-Gene Pierson
ME 45
Hung Jurists 18
The tide of this game turned when Bryant Thomas showed up giving ME a sub. Marshall Tucker lead the way on offense for ME with 6 TDs (5 passing/1 receiving) while Gene Pierson held it down on defense with 4 interceptions, returning 2 for touchdowns. Special thanks to John O'Herron for his in game commentary which consisted of yelling "trickery" whenever Hung Jurists did anything besides a pass. According to the Score Sheet, Hung Jurists ran "Trickery to Brooks" three times but failed.
Ball Handlers 53
2 Girls, 1 Ball 54
The Prosecution 45
Straight Cash Homeys 0
WWR 26
Naked Authority 37
Monday, September 15, 2008
Week 1: Football is Back!!!
…and so is the blog. Due to the fact that I am no longer president of SELS and therefore have no excuse to send inappropriate and irrelevant e-mails to the whole school this year, yours truly has agreed to write the blog this semester. Those of you that know me know that I can be sarcastic and inappropriate at times, and I will make fun of people, and I will say stupid things. If I in any way offend anybody, please send someone else an e-mail.
- MT
Game Recaps
WWR 8
Rahman's Noodles 45
Rahman's Noodles was "super stoked" to have won a game after taking silver medal in all but one game last year. Now that they have already tied their win total from last year, the team is looking up. Despite a rocky offensive start, the defense kept them alive in the first half with an interception returned for a touchdown by Keoni Medici. The offense finally came around and Rahman's Noodles was almost able to put up enough points to exercise the mercy rule. After all this praise I should mention that WWR played a man down, but hey, a win is a win. Kat Amirpashai shined as QB for Rahmna's Noodles showing off the speed to run for a TD and a nice arm. Dan Payne praised her skills saying "that chick can throw farther than you Dahl!!"
Me 47
Straight Cash Homeys 0
R.I.P. Bad Newz Kennels. In a post game interview, 1L Bryant Thomas summed the game up quoting his favorite movie The Mighty Ducks..."It's not worth winning, if you can't win big." Bryant was also heard saying he wasn't afraid to get rough with females players leading me to believe he will be a solid replacement for Brian "I pushed little girls off the swing in kindergarten" Mills.
The Prosecution 8
The Pac 47
The Prosecution was wracked by contract negotiation scandals that adversely affected their gametime performace. Despite these issues Sean O'Hara is looking like an all league safety and Will Igbokwe has shown consistent hands as a receiver.
2 Girls, 1 Ball 26
Breakfast is for Closers 50
2 Girls, 1 Ball took the field Sunday against Breakfast is for Closers, and while defeated as a result of an unprecedented number of girl touchdowns by the Breakfast Club, all the players put forth a valiant effort-even Nick “I Like to Drink” Petrone, who was awakened from his enjoyable slumber at noon and instructed to get his ass to the field, which is more than the team can say for another team member who did not show up and will not be named (but his name rhymes with Marker Mote). The Breakfast Club was able to pull out a win despite the unexplained absence of their fearful captain, Corey "C-Mony" Pollard (it is rumored that he got word that he missed the deadline to renew his vanity plates and spent the afternoon on the phone with DMV). However C-Mony was available for comment stating the words "excellence" and "better than yours" will sum up the performance.
In a moment of glory, Liz "Soul Eater" Boudris manages to have the competition bowing at her feet during a touchdown celebration. The Hung Jurists
The Fighting Pacifists
The Fighting Pacifists won a hard fought battle of the gridiron over the Hung Jurists by way of forfeit.
Naked Authority
The Ball Handlers
Unfortunately, the girls of the Ball Handlers had their hands full elsewhere this weekend, so to speak. As a result, the epic battle between the Ball Handlers and Naked Authority will have to be rescheduled. For those of you who are new to the flag football community, this rivalry dates back to 2006 and qualifies any game between the two as a "must see." Past games have featured full tackles, injuries, crying (some related to the injuries, some not related), unabashed pass interference, 50 yard passes, trick running plays, and plenty of smack talking. I'm looking forward to another installment of this heated rivalry.
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